Last night at about 10.30p I heard a ruckus downstairs. Being the tired mom that I am I figured that if someone was breaking in, the dog would bark. And if it was Mallory, I would soon hear “hi momma!”. So I decided that I would stay in bed until it was clearer what I would find if I actually got out of bed to investigate.
Well, I didn’t hear either of those things. Instead I heard my sweet baby girl whimper at the bottom of the steps. I ran down the stairs to see her lit up by the little nightlight with a sad look on her face. There was no paci or bear or blankie or baby in her arms so I figured this wasn’t a normal “get out of bed to sleep with mom” attempt. I sat on the bottom steps and asked her what was wrong and if she lost her paci. She moaned “des”; I asked if she wanted me to find it for her and she again moaned “des”. I sat her on my knee and as she buried her head in my neck I got tears in my eyes.
How much longer will she be my sweet baby girl? How mad is she going to be at me when there is a new sweet baby who will need my attention?
I want to be able to sit with her like that in the almost dark every single night for as long as she will let me. And it makes me so sad to think that with every passing day as she gets bigger and smarter, it means that I am one day closer to not having these little moments with her.
Oh man, I’m crying again right now.
Stupid pregnancy hormones.