The Paci-free Bedtime Diary

Well, Dammit Jim.

Mallory’s impending move to the preschool room at daycare means that they are making her nap without her pacifier at school. They say she’s doing well without it at school so Princess Not-So-Bright (again, that’s me) thought we should try to drop it at home since she only uses it for bedtime & naptime.

I figured last Thursday night was a good night to start this. You know, the Thursday that was four weeks after Carson was born. Also, the Thursday that was three days after Mallory was diagnosed with a sinus infection.

Well, the first night was rough. It took FOR-EVER to get her to go down to bed. She wasn’t crying for the paci, but was crying for me. And, being the super-great mom that I am, my patience on my newborn-caused-sleep-deprivation was wearing REALLY thin and I ended up yelling at Mallory for not going to bed, which, as I’m sure you can imagine, worked REALLY well for getting her calmed down and asleep. I don’t know what we ended up doing to get her to go to sleep but I’m sure it involved more yelling and multiple baby gates.

Same story Friday & Saturday nights. Combined with her waking up extra early (5:30a) and not falling back to sleep when she comes to our bed in the morning makes for a REALLY grumpy mom and grumpy toddler. I hated that I was yelling at her. I hated that it made her harder to deal with during the day because she was so tired. I hated that Rick said “this (having kids) isn’t fun anymore” after another morning of battling her constantly.

So last night I caved. After a perfectly wonderful reading of bedtime stories by Rick, she wouldn’t stay in bed. I was trying to stay calm and not raise my voice but there are only so many times I can heave my still-carrying-10-too-many-pregnancy-pounds arse off the couch to go give her one more hug & a kiss. Oh, and the “cover me up again” routine is really fun. Doesn’t she realize that if she just STAYED in bed, the covers would STAY on her and she wouldn’t need me to put them back on? For the LOVE of GOD. She’s TWO. She should know how this all works by now.

So I gave her her beloved pacifier. I know this was a stupid move, since we’d gone two naps and three bedtimes without, and that it would and should only get easier each night but I cannot deal with a two-hour-bedtime routine right now. Until all of us get more acclimated to our new normal, she can have her paci.

Mallory wins.

Edited to add: She fell asleep about four minutes after I gave her the paci.