Facebook Updates – almost one year ago

Yes, I saved all my Facebook* statuses from the end of March and the end of my pregnancy last year because they were too funny to not save. These updates were to save people from having to call or email me to see if I’d had the baby yet.

Enjoy. :-)

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Samantha is a million weeks pregnant and the bleep-bleep middle of the mall kiosk people think I’m interested in maintaining my natural nails?? BACK OFF!!!! March 24 at 12:17pm

Samantha is not impressed with my trip to the mall. I spent too much money, I didn’t go into labor and now my back hurts like a sonofabitch. Dammit jim March 24 at 3:38pm

Samantha is still waiting. And waiting. And waiting. March 26 at 7:56pm

Samantha is running out of ways to say “I haven’t had the baby yet.” March 27 at 8:56am

Samantha est toujours enceinte. March 27 at 12:15pm

     ~Laura — Plenty more ways to say it!

     ~ Samantha — I hope I don’t have to find too many more ways.

     ~ Kelly — Love it…. but did you mean to say that you are “always pregnant?” hehe

     ~ Meghan– Omg you are hilarious! I will stop asking my husband then..because I think he tired of answering as well.

     ~ Samantha — Kelly – seriously? FIX IT.

     ~ Kelly — “Sam est encore enceinte” is better! :) hehe

     ~ Samantha — That’s what I get for using the free translation website I found on google.

Samantha est encore enceinte. March 27 at 8:32pm

Samantha er enda gravid (Norwegian for “still pregnant”). Seriously. March 28 at 1:30pm

Samantha isn’t amused that Rick wants me to hurry and have this baby so I can be less grumpy. Because really? At this point I am choosing to still be pregnant? How do I say “F*CK OFF” in Norwegian? March 28 at 5:35pm

     ~ Terry — can’t blame you there…men you gotta love em

     ~ Rhiannon — I think english will do…

     ~ Gene — Ana says you say it like this … Dra til helvete. Finally it pays to know someone who knows Norwegian.

     ~ Lisa — Samantha! You are killing me! SO FUNNY! I agree, just tell him in English. The F word sounds so much better in English!!haha

Samantha è tuttavia incinta. March 29 at 8:44am

Samantha has a hospitable belly. Baby is way too comfortable. March 30 at 10:04am

Samantha ‘s body is working hard to avoid Sunday’s scheduled induction. March 30 at 8:12pm

Samantha thinks I must just have a really high pain tolerance. How can I be so dilated and not have felt any contractions yet? No, I am not in labor yet, I am laying in bed still pregnant. March 31 at 7:31am

Samantha has decided that if I have share my birthday month with my kid I might as well share the birth day too. Come out come out wherever you are!! March 31 at 4:44pm

Samantha can’t remember the word for when you wish pain on yourself, because that’s me right now. I’m having contractions but they don’t hurt. March 31 at 10:24pm

Samantha will now quote Mallory, age 2: “GET OUT ARLO! Get out!!”. April 1 at 9:24am

Samantha just found the bright side!! I guess I’d rather be dilated with no painful contractions, than be having tons of painful contractions with no dilation! See – I can be un-grumpy for a few minutes :-) April 1 at 4:16pm

Samantha : it’s baby time. April 2 at 9:50am

     ~ Jennifer– Is it really??

     ~ Lisa — Really???? FINALLY!!!!!

     ~Terry — RU on your way???

     ~Christina — Woohoo!!!

     ~Dana — yipee!

     ~Cindy — Good luck!

     ~Elizabeth — YAY!!! Good luck!!

     ~Gail — Yeah!!! Good Luck!! Come on Arlo!

     ~Terry — The anticipation is killing me!!!

     ~Leisa — Congrats – hopefully it will be fast!

     ~Jaime — GOOD LUCK SAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

     ~Justin — GO, SAM, GO!!

     ~Mike Folk — Well done! (this message is from the future)

     ~Lucinda — Good Luck!! See ya in a few days….

     ~Xan — I’m praying for you and that sweet baby.

     ~Jan — awesome! we’re thinking of you all. let me know if i can bring you anything.

     ~Rhiannon — We are praying for you guys! xoxox

     ~Meghan — Come out and play baby Arlo….we heard you were on your way!!!!

     ~Shauna — Yo yo yo………can’t wait to hear the news sista!

     ~Erika — Sweet!! I will stay tuned for the news.

     ~Laura — Um….what’s taking so long?

     ~Rhiannon — I figured she would be IPhoning it the whole time! lol ~

*Facebook is a social networking tool that will probably be obsolete by the time my kids get old and read this blog.