She cracks me up

I started keeping a running list of stuff Mallory said because it was just too hard to try to remember and then blog about. So this is a few months worth of funny stuff that comes out of her mouth:

“When I grow big I’m going to have a pink phone with purple sparkles, from a different kind of Target store that you have never been.”

“Look how awesome my hair is getting.”

MCB – “I smell someone” STB: “who?” MCB: “it’s you”. STB: “what do I smell like?” MCB: “Cherry pie.”

“Dad cracks me up when he says beautiful.”

“It’s not nice to not tell when you have candy.”

“Be careful of traffic. Don’t get in an askident.”

We are constantly telling Mallory to use real words because we want carson to start talking and she was telling me to say “cawot” (carrot), and I was saying “cawot” and M told me to use real words because Carson needs to start talking. The best is that Carson wasn’t even in the car.

“I have to butzie because God is up in the sky with a magic wand making me.”

I was on the phone with the Comcast folks trying to figure out why our cable wasn’t working and Carson was throwing toys around the family room. Next thing I know, I can’t find Mallory or Carson and I realize she’s escorting him up the stairs. When I get off the phone, Mallory told me she took Carson to his room to talk to him about about throwing his toys.

I told her she was lucky because she had pizza for dinner two days in a row, so she told me: “you are a lucky duck because you get to drink your beers”

She says mean instead of mad – “I am MEAN at you”. and “I don’t like it when you laugh at me when I am MEAN”

“You are out of luck. you always tell me i am out of luck so you are out of luck”.

At the dinner table one night, Carson was having an extra feisty night of throwing food to the floor. Mallory said: “Ca-thun – I know you always like to throw your food – i did too when i was a baby -but you JUST CAN’T.”

First thing waking up “mom can I have your phone?” me: “why?” MCB: “because I need to see what the weather is going to be”. me, handing her my phone: “OK – but come here real close (give a kiss and whisper) you are hysterical.” MCB: “mom, come here real close (kiss and a whisper) you are asterical.”

I’d just put out a pink bar of soap in the guest bath and M asked if I got it out just for her. “Awww, thanks mom”.

“When I turn 5 I might want ballroom cake”

Then just yesterday, we were driving around and Carson was in rare form – laughing and being super silly in the car. Mallory told me “mom, you gave me a really funny brother” and “I think Carson is funny up to God, but you only think he is funny up to the trees”.

She is also obsessed with saying “rude” and “weird”. Like if the drinking fountain didn’t work, she would say “THAT’S WUDE!” and “that’s weally weally WE-YUD (weird) that the Christmas lights are on when the sun is out!” The best is that WUDE is usually said with more attitude regarding a perceived injustice than any four year old she be able to muster.

There are more but I’ll hope to share in the context of an actual blog post. But right now I’m going to bed. Au revoir.