Nightime

It’s no secret that we let Mallory fall asleep in our bed (like almost every single night). The deal is that Rick moves her to her own bed when he comes to bed, and she usually makes that transition without waking up (but it’s pretty funny how she sometimes stirs when he goes to move her and then she ends up just staying in our bed all night).

Anyway.

So – we (or rather I) let her fall asleep in our bed at bedtime because I feel it is the lesser of two evils. I LOVE sleep, and I sort of want to do anything I can to allow me to get in bed and fall asleep as soon as possible. For a while we were putting Mallory to bed around 9/9.30p (she still naps at daycare), and since that is (should be) my bedtime, I found it was just easier to go to bed with her instead of fighting with her over her bedtime for 30 minutes and then heading to my own bed. I also rationalized that since I’d end up letting her come to our bed anyway (remember, I just want to go to bed at bedtime), I thought it better to let her start there instead of letting her have a tantrum about it first. We have moved her bedtime up to closer to 8.30p the past few weeks (I think I’ve noticed fewer meltdowns?) – so the new routine is to read some books in our bed and then Rick & I head downstairs (…usually only for about 30-45 minutes before I head back upstairs but at least I have a few minutes to myself!).

The good thing about this arrangement is that because she does want to sleep in our bed every night, it’s the best thing to use as punishment. She will snap out of just about any tantrum or fight pretty quick if we tell her she is going to lose that privilege. There are nights where she does lose the privilege, and she will go to bed in her own room without much of a fight so I think we’re getting close to where we should start thinking about getting her to sleep in her own bed full time again. Is it ridiculous that we let her sleep in our bed every night? Probably, especially given what a great going-to-bedder she used to be but if this is the worst parenting mistake we’ve made, I think we’re doing ok. I just remembered that I think this habit started being an every night occurrence when we were living with my dad last summer and our sleeping arrangements were all messed up. Plus with all of our travels the past few months, it seemed silly to work on getting her to sleep in her own bed since she would be in ours on our trips anyway.

But the best thing about letting her sleep in our bed? It allows me to continue pretending that my baby girl is still my baby girl, and not my big four-year-old girl.

I love this picture that Rick took of Mallory & me sleeping. You can see her two bears up around her head (she sometimes has them over her face). Most nights when I come upstairs, she is passed out in my spot so I have to scooch her over but within seconds of me climbing under the covers she usually rolls up against me again.

My baby.