The Dexter Tornado ~ a year later

March 15, 2013. The anniversary of the tornado that messed up our neighborhood.

I wasn’t as emotional yesterday as I thought I was going to be (ill-behaved children and a Michigan basketball loss helped keep my mind off the anniversary), but it a milestone I was happy to pass.

I don’t need to re-write about what happened on March 15, 2012 – you can read about it here (March 15, 2012 post). And I don’t need to re-write about what the days were like after the tornado – you can read about that here (March 17, 2012 post). And I don’t even need to re-write about what happened the week or so after the tornado – you can read about that here (March 24, 2012 post). And five weeks out (April 21, 2012) and two months out (May 13, 2012).

By September, all of the work was done on our house, and nothing was leaking or breaking that had been repaired. Most of the houses in the ‘hood were fixed and it looked mostly “normal” again. I was happy to be done with Rick’s insane triathlon training, done with our project manager, done with finding glass in our yard, done with insurance adjusters, just done done done.

The kids didn’t seem to have any lingering concerns about weather or the tornado, even through some insanely crazy wind storms we’ve had this winter (that really tested how well our siding was installed…nothing has blown off, which is good!). Even I got tweaked by the winds a couple of times and had some PTSD flashbacks to last March and it caused some sleepless nights and prayers for calmer winds.

However, due to some stuff outside of our control – involving a shady general contractor, unpaid subcontractors, liens & lawyers – the past four+ months have caused me to get get all mad about the tornado again.

The past two weeks have been especially stressful and then add in that Rick wasn’t even aware of the upcoming anniversary  – ARGH.

I asked Mallory this week if anyone at school was talking about the tornado. Her response was a nervous: “there’s going to be another tornado?”. I explained that there wasn’t another tornado and I dropped it. I didn’t want my kid to go to school the next day and get other kids all freaked out with tornado talk.

But on Thursday, I asked her what she remembered about the tornado. She said “the Robkes coming over…and Nathan throwing up”. Ok, then.

I asked if she had any feelings about the tornado – she said that maybe our siding is glad because “it wasn’t really that pretty before” {imagine her making a trying to be grown-up face while she says it}. And that Mr Mitch & Miss Angie (our neighbors whose tree fell in our yard) might be happy that they got to plant some new things [they made a little garden out of the spot the tree used to be]. But that’s all she had to say about it so I guess she’s ok. And apparently she gets her unemotional-ness about events like this from her dad. She did ask me yesterday (on Friday) how the anniversary could be on a Friday if the tornado was on a Thursday last year, which put me in the position of trying to explain something I don’t know how to explain (that due to each year having 365 which isn’t divisible by seven so that makes the calendar go forward one day except when it’s a leap year…).

* * *

I’d warned Rick that I might be a mess on Friday, March 15. I on purpose didn’t plan anything for us that day because I really wasn’t sure how I was going to feel (and I’m thankful for my friends who didn’t think I was weird for wanting to lay low).

My feelings about the tornado come and go. Mostly I have this crazy survivor guilt or something. I have flashbacks to how bleep-ing stupid I was to watch the storm roll in BEHIND THE SAFETY OF MY SLIDING GLASS DOOR. Not only was that a poor example for my kids (“hey when a tornado comes – don’t hide in the safe spot under the stairs, take pictures!!”) but it makes me crazy to think how I could have been hurt or killed had the tornado been one block north of the path it took. I’m not sure that will ever go away but at least next time I’ll make a better choice.  I don’t remember green skies or really loud train sounds. I remember the sounds of wind and debris attacking our house. I remember worrying about my phone running out of battery (nice first world problem, eh?). I remember trying to figure out if I should go to work the next day or not. I remember not being able to track down my parents the night of the tornado and freaking out about it (they were fine – mom was playing tennis, my dad was playing whirlyball) but I was upset that everyone in the world knew about the tornado but my own parents hadn’t called to check on me! I remember going to see my boss the next week to tell him I had to go talk to FASAP (the employee assistance program at work) because I was about to lose it – trying to go through the motions at work when my mind was at home was hard, and I remember that my boss stood up and walked around his desk and it seemed like he wasn’t sure if he should give me a hug or not. I’d only worked for him for six weeks when the tornado hit and I am thankful for his understanding.

Overall, as I wrote above, yesterday was OK. I had to catch my breath when I saw the news trucks in the neighborhood when I got home from work. But the distraction of two really cute kids [even when they are being bratty], a warm house [and a cold beer], and lovely friends checking in on me all day via text messages helped me remember that we made it.

It helps the healing too that the noise outside is from snowplows and not work trucks and bulldozers…what a difference a year makes. And thank goodness for happy siding.